John had a bit of an odd life, at least he thought so. During the day he taught and the evening, well…if anyone knew he was likely to get fired for what he did. Teaching just didn’t seem to be enough for him. He’d wanted more, more company and while he was awkward with women during the day, it seemed that he was different with them at night. He’d never managed to be able to keep a girl around, he always assumed for his awkwardness, but eventually decided that it wasn’t worth all of the heartache anymore. So, he became what he did at night.
Some things that women wanted from him were too horrible for even him to consider. He’d had to say no a few times, even if they offered double the pay. Though most of the time, a lot of the time, he could do what they wanted with him and he considered himself quite good at it.
He wasn’t at all surprised when a woman called in for an appointment. They set it up for a hotel somewhere in town. Most of his nights were spent in hotels, now that he really thought about it, but he didn’t mind. This sort of life was better than being alone, better than having to deal with the pain that came from a relationship. He didn’t have to worry about all of that when he occupied his night time this way.
Stepping inside the hotel, John looked around and then remembered the room number. He’d gotten her name, Clara Oswald. John asked for the key to the room and went up the elevator to it. She’d be there, he knew that she would be. Women liked to be early, well, most of them seemed to anyway. He knocked once, then twice on the door, letting her know that he was there and then slid the key along the lock before letting himself in. There she was, in simple but pretty dress. She was short with brown hair and a cute nose. If he was honest with himself, he thought that she was rather pretty.
"You must be Miss Oswald. Am I correct?" He spoke politely, in a friendly tone. He’d learned to be friendly with them, though he had a friendly personality anyway. The way he’d seen her standing, fidgeting, he wondered if she’d ever done something like this before.
Her hands were shaking, that’s why she held them together, fidgeting because she couldn’t help it, couldn’t stop her own nervousness as he walked in. He was an attractive man about her age, his hair had that adorable flop that she couldn’t help but smile a bit at. The stranger was tall, awkward-looking, but his smile was charming, somewhat confident. In other circumstances, Clara might had thought him a man worth approaching.
Her gaze moved over his arms and she nodded to herself, they looked like they would wrap around her. Forcing herself to look him in the eye she smiled back easily, forcing herself to relax. “Yes, that’s me. But you can call me Clara. Everyone else does. You must be Mr. Smith.” Her hand moved to shake his, standing in front of him awkwardly, before biting her lip.
"I know what you think you’re here for…but…that’s not what I’m going to ask you to do. You see…I just..I want you to hold me." Clara Oswald chewed her lip at this, watching for his reaction. "I don’t need…your usual services, in fact I probably will never ask for them. I’ll pay the same price and everything but-"
She was rambling again, so her lips pressed together, shutting her eyes and opening them again, sitting on the bed and staring at the ground. “It’s okay if that makes you uncomfortable, I just- I have no other option…haven’t slept well in months..can’t focus at work..” She trailed off.
"Maybe it’s just…maybe it’s just stupid. The door’s over there..if you want to leave I won’t blame you…"
The Doctor could only watch the tears fall down
her cheeks as he fiddled with his hands, trying his
best to think of what to say in her fragile state.
He croaked, mouth opening and closing, but nothing
would come out. He blinked rapidly, not even daring to
look her in the eye. What he did was to protect her.
If she’d gone off with him, she wouldn’t have lasted a
single day. But he should have known, that wasn’t how
she liked to travel with him.
And the tears staining her face
were because of his actions. Of course he
never wanted her to leave. Never, anything but that.
The Doctor cautiously took a step forward, brows
knitted together, lips pressed into a tight frown after
thinking long and hard about how to deal with this,
❝Because I promise.❞
Trying his best to give her a hopeful smile.
Although it was hard. Feeling ever so
guilty for making her cry.
❝Aye? All of time and space,
you and me—-always.
How does that sound?❞
Her hand comes up to wipe the tears
away from her cheek, pretending they
weren’t there, so hopefully he wouldn’t
notice either. Yet, when she heard him
call her name, like it was a groan of pain,
she knew he saw the tears she shed.
❝ Tell me how I can believe you. ❞
Clara Oswald wanted more than anything
to let it go and simply travel with him again,
but she couldn’t. The bossy control freak
that can’t let go, can’t forget. She had lost
control once, jumped into a timeline that
ripped her apart, and that could never happen again.
❝ I’m the boss again. Say it. ❞
She needed that control.
That safety the Doctor brought her
because he did what she asked. And
yet, it was like the blanket was yanked
from her and she was left in the cold.
He was cold now, the warm trust she held
replaced by stinging hurt.
never lie to me again. ❞
Even Clara knew she was going too far
with that last one. There were some things
the Doctor couldn’t stop doing.
~Traveling, running, and lying to the people he cared about. ~
❝ How do I know… ❞
Clara looked at him, willing
the tears not to fall down
her cheeks. She was warring
with herself. Halfway between
hitting him so hard he’d fall over
and hugging him forever.
He had lied to her, in a space of
one trip, one tiny adventure, he’d
turned from her protector, her Doctor,
to a stranger, an alien.
❝–––that you’re not going to leave again? ❞